I have often said that those cute little babies you see in a stroller at the mall, getting dedicated or christened at church (depending on your denomination or tradition), or sometimes playing at the park is an evil trick played on childless folks. When you see them they are so adorable and you just think (sometimes), “Ohhhhhhhh, I want one!” Here are a couple of shining examples from my blog-muddah and her grandson, WildChild.

Hunhhh-uhhhh.

See these displays leave out the realities of being a parent. Let’s list a few. Dirty diapers. Crying, screaming caniption fits. Butt thermometers launched across the room, mercury splattered everywhere after the impact. Messy feeding episodes. Dookie and peepee in the bathtub. There’s a thousand more things that parents could add to this list (feel free to add yours in the comments), those are just a few things I remember from my childh-...never you mind that….

All of this I mention because the Spinning Belle has somehow, someway, convinced (notice that convinced is very similar to ‘conned?’) me to watch a few episodes of Supernanny. Yes, she can be rather persuasive, that’s why she is the Spinning Belle. But, I digress.

After just a few episodes, it is my firm conviction that unprotected sex, especially leading to pregnancy will fall by at least 87% in all countries that have access to this program. Why 87% you ask? Well, there’s always a subset of any society of about 13% of the general population who are by nature f-*&tards set on propagating their rather challenged seed and thereby providing more subject matter for the Supernanny show.

So, if you’re considering becoming a parent, please, please, PLEASE, watch this show before you attempt procreation. If you’re still set on making babies, try getting a dog first. But, remember, it’s a good idea to have your pet, ahem, altered. Perhaps, we should have more potential parents, ahem, altered.

Oh, and the other great thing about Supernanny is the great word combinations you can pick up from the featured brats kids. My new favorite is calling people, things, or situations “buttpie.”

UPDATE: Another benefit of remaining a non-parent is that you don’t have to pick up your daughter after this has happened to her car…with her in it. We’re all grateful she came through safely Kim.